Part 36: I Swear, If She Gets Captured Again After This, Then So Help Me GOD...
Previously on White Knight Chronicles…
We met our
And his
They showed up five hours late because Leonard is a fuck up…
Leonard saw Princess Cisna at the party and became obsessed with her…
The Magi attacked the castle, killing King Valtos and Archduke Dalam of Faria…
Princess Cisna did not like that…
Leonard discovered the White Knight in the basement of Balandor Castle…
He decided to use it to protect Princess Cisna…
And then she got kidnapped…
Zero fucks were given by Yulie… ever…
Sarvain plotted evil plots while our heroes were away…
Then Kara showed up…
And this shit happened…
Urgh…
Leonard and the party tried to rescue Princess Cisna at the Sand Maze Ruins…
But then she got kidnapped again…
Shapur was kind of there… I guess…
And then they met Caesar…
Caesar was awesome. He claimed the Dragon Knight and kicked Belcitane’s ass with it…
But then Princess Cisna was kidnapped… again…
We met our villain Grazel… Via hologram, because he was too lazy to show up in person…
Cyrus was a drunken suicidal racist…
Kara revealed herself to be the Black Knight after everyone who wasn’t Leonard already figured it out…
And then she defected back to the Magi…
And Princess Cisna was kidnapped a fourth time…
Caesar laid a trap for Grazel, who had joined the party disguised as Setti…
But then everyone else fucked it up…
And then Eldore revealed he actually came from the Dogma Era and he was here to—
I really don’t give a shit, man.
And now, the conclusion…
CUTSCENE: The Shining Sovereign of Yshrenia
BOSS FIGHT: Final Boss Gauntlet (The Sun King, The Black Knight and The Black Usurper, with commentary by nine-gear crow and Blind Sally. NOTE: This video covers the entirety to the chapter in one go. If you don’t want to be spoiled on anything, read through the post and click the link at the bottom of the update for our commentary on things.)
We come right back to the action with the party running headlong towards the main temple grounds.
See what I mean about this place being all “Shrine of Worship-y”?
In the midst of their gawking, Leonard spots something…
The not-at-all missable Magi Monoship. Wow, it’s a rare day when Leonard of all people is the first one to notice the blindingly obvious.
And we get out first glimpse inside the temple itself.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Final Battle” (Disc 2, Track 17)
And Shapur’s there too… doing nothing, as usual.
The temple doors swing open in the distance.
And Shapur takes a knee…
Yeah, there’s a real inspiring image there: the main villain coming out of an Important Place carrying the lifeless body of the Key to Everything in his arms.
Look at that dour face. At least Belcitane would have been sporting the shittiest shit-eating grin if he were doing this.
Leonard: What has he done?!
Caesar: The Princess!
Eldore: Gods, no! Does he have it?!
Orren: Oh, thanks for sitting us down and chewing over your backstory, Faildore. Gods, we JUST GOT HERE and we’ve already bungled the job. Hell, she’s probably dead too, just because why not?
Yulie: You better not have hurt her!Again, more reason to love Yulie. In the face of powers now well truly beyond her scope, that could annihilate her in an instant, she’s still got the balls give Grazel his measure of shit. Never change, Yulie, never change.
Grazel: Listen to me! I have finally succeeded! The Knight’s Ark is mine! Orren: Yeah, it’s not really a victory when you win BY DEFAULT! Grazel: It is only natural, of course.
Grazel: After all, it was mine in the first place.
Leonard: You bastard…
Leonard: What have you done to Cisna?! Leonard: [INEFFECTUAL PANTYWAIST MOAN]
Grazel: Heh heh heh. I’m afraid she resisted a bit too much. But I have ways of controlling people, and she eventually sang her little spell.
Leonard: You’ve lost your mind.
Grazel: But quite tragically, I think she might have cuased herself some…
Grazel: Damage when she tried to resist me…
Grazel: Humph.
Leonard: Give her back!
Grazel: Oh? And if I refuse?Hell, why would he give her up at this point? There’s one more Knight out there after this, and he’s got a flawless track record in the “Kidnapping Princess Cisna” department, so…
Grazel: Why don’t you come get her yourself?
Grazel: Fight me for your precious Princess, Knights against Knight.
Grazel begins walking towards the party and the whole temple darkens. This is how you know Bad Things are about to happen. It’s also how you know that, unlike Leonard, Caesar and Kara, when Grazel transforms into the Sun King, it’s also a Very Bad Thing.
Grazel: O Adolmaea, shining sovereign…
Grazel: Supreme light of the ancient skies…
Grazel: Grant me your power…
Grazel: VERTO.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “The Sun King” (Disc 2, Track 18)
Shapur: At last…
Shapur: My Lord is a Knight!I think Shapur just came or something. This is about the most emotive he’s been this whole game.
Say hello to Adolmaea, the strongest of the Yshrenian Knights. So much for that whole “stop Grazel before he claims the Sun King” thing, because we definitely buggered that one up.
The Sun King summons its signature weapon from the ether: a bifurcated twin-bladed sword/lance called the Lawblade. The Sun King uses this like Darth Maul’s dual-bladed Lightsaber bo from The Phantom Menace, and will occasionally split it in two to have twin swords for certain attacks.
So this is Boss #1 of the Final Boss Gauntlet: the Sun King.
Leonard: That’s him… The Sun King! Orren: A golden monument to all your fuck ups. Caesar: Well, what goes up, must come down!
Eldore: Right then! Stay on your toes!
Yulie: Let’s show ‘em!
Grazel: The world will be MINE once again!Despite how intimidating the Sun King looks from afar, he’s actually the easiest of the three boss fights.
Grazel: I admire you're tenacity. Caesar: Eh, I still think mine looks cooler.The Sun King is weak against slashing attacks and ice elemental magic, being a fire-based enemy.
One thing you notice very early on is that for whatever reason, the Sun King doesn’t do that much damage to you when it attacks you, barely cracking triple digits. The Golems and Black Knaves we were battling to get here could knock any given party member down to critical condition in a single hit.
Here, there’s very little risk of anyone actually dying in battle. There’s actually a plot reason for this. Cisna is sealing the Sun King’s power right now, so it’s not at full strength. If it was, oh shit, we’d be done for at the levels were at right now.
Grazel: Another power's getting in the way!
It’s not even worth it pulling any Knights out on him. You’re better served holding them back for the fights after this.
See, even his strongest attack barely does 90 damage to anyone.
Although El Stupido does get knocked off his feet.
Grazel: Impossible!
And then he goes down like a punk.
CUTSCENE Kara’s Last Stand
Jeez, I haven’t seen a silver haired villain in giant golden armour get emasculated this badly since Ramsus in Xenogears. I’m expected Weltall-ID- to come bursting in through the ceiling, tear the Sun King’s arms off and just start teabagging it now. Because Id’s a colossal dick like that.
Unlimited power: DENIED!
Grazel: Ghaa!
Grazel: What is this?!
Cisna: This is me, ruining your day. Suck it, Bulmung.
Grazel: Rrrr! So it’s YOUR doing!
And of course Grazel suddenly has a sword now because, well…
INCOMING FINAL FANTASY VII RIP-OFF!
Cisna: I regret nothing.
Cisna: AAAAAGUH!!
Leonard: AAAH! Eldore: My Queen!
Yulie: Princess! Caesar: No! Orren: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAwwww I’m never getting paid for this job.
Leonard staggers around for a few seconds, completely at a loss now that his entire reason for being has been snuffed from existence.
Leonard: [INEFFECTUAL PANTYWAIST MOAN]…I mean
Leonard: UUUUURAAAAAAAAA!!!
Grazel: The fuck?
LEONARD SMA—
Bah, who am I kidding, this kid can’t do ANYTHING right. So of course, Kara steps in and knocks his sword clean out of his hand.
He even goes flying backwards in slow motion just to show how much of an ineffectual twat he really is. Hell, I’m pretty sure Vaan at least punched Vayne once in Final Fantasy XII, and Vaan was as vestigial to the game as a tits on a bull’s appendix.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Tense Battle” (Disc 1, Track 30)
And so, Leonard returns to his natural position in life, flat on his back kicking up a cloud of dust after a better character than him puts him there.
Pictured: Insult + Injury. Or: why I can’t take Leonard seriously as a protagonist.
Leonard: Kara!
Kara: Brother! You must retreat! Kara: You’re still under contract for the sequel!
Grazel: All my power is GONE…
Grazel: I leave you to destroy them.
And then he walks off screen in a huff.
Exeunt Grazel.
Kara: O Dinivas, deliverer of dark and dread, ruler of the ancient shadows…
Kara: Grant me your power!
Kara: Verto!
So while Kara’s transformation sequence plays out off screen, Leonard spies Cisna’s body in the distance...
And decides he’s going to make a run for it.
Meanwhile, Kara’s still locked into her obligatory animation, so she’s powerless to do anything by the rules of Henshin Hero Storytelling.
Jeez, it’s a rare thing when anyone takes advantage of another character’s transformation sequence to do something, good or bad.
Way to technically be smart there, Leonard…
Kara: Oh godsdammit, REALLY!? When did I start sucking at this?
And instead of immediately leaping after them and cutting them all down with her Darkblade, Kara just lets them run off behind a pillar while Caesar and Yulie hold her at bay by… just staring at her.
Shapur and Orren are off screen having a beer and talking about how everyone totally forgets they even exist if they’re not on screen for more than a minute at a time.
Leonard: Can you save her?
Eldore: I think so.
Eldore: He missed the heart.
Eldore: A healing spell will save her.See, Eldore does actually do magic from time to time.
Leonard nods, and leaves her to Eldore’s care.
He gets up and turns to face Boss #2 of the Final Boss Gauntlet: the Black Knight.
Caesar: Leonard, we have to stop Kara.
Leonard: Right!
BOSS FIGHT MUSIC: “Jet-Black Wings” (Disc 1, Track 22)
So while you would think Eldore would be out of the party for this fight while he’s off healing Cisna, he actually isn't. Not that he was ever really a part of my game 1 party to begin with, but if you go into the final boss gauntlet with Eldore in your party he will stay in your party for all three rounds of it (the same goes for your other two party members as well).
Guess he just slapped a Band-Aid on Cisna's GAPING STOMACH PUNCTURE WOUND and hopped right back into the fight. Eh, whatever, it's not like half-assing things is anything particularly new for Eldore anyway.
Kara: As good a place to die as any…
Aww, Kara don’t say that. You’re one of the few likable characters this game has left…There’s next to nothing to say about this fight. It’s the Black Knight, it’s round 4 with the Black Knight now. It has not changed one bit since the first time we fought it in the Nordia Tunnels save for some beefed up stats. So just wail away at it with stabbing attacks and that should be it.
Of course, this is where you want to start throwing some Knights around because unlike the Sun King, the Black Knight will kick the shit out of you if you let her.
Leonard: O Wizel, white warrior, wielder of the ancient sword, grant me your power…
Leonard: Verto!
Kara: You rats! Caesar: Are you that scared of facing your feelings?! Yulie: What about everything we talked about? Kara: Why couldn't you see it before?
The only thing of note here is that the Black Knight’s bullshit “glide across the entire battlefield” thing is back in full force.
Kara: You haven't won yet! Yulie: Kara! What's happened to you?
Now we’ve won.
CUTSCENE: The Black Usurper
As the Black Knight disappears, memories start flooding back into Kara’s mind.
Kara and Setti together in Balandor in a happier moment.
Actually, if you look at the eye colour, it’s actually Kara and Grazel in Setti-guise. No doubt the start of all the manipulation that would follow…
…Sarvain?!
Kara: This thing smells like a toilet. Grazel: Yeeeeah, the last guy kind of had… odour issues. Kara: I am not wearing this stupid getup. Grazel: MINDCONTROL!
Kara: Let’s do this shit…
Kara: So it’s over then…
Caesar: I remember now, Kara.
Caesar: Once… Long ago…
Kara: Caesar…
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Eternal Engraving” (Disc 2, Track 20)
Caesar: We were raised in Sinca Village.
Caesar: I remember holding your hand…
Caesar: Running through meadows of flowers…Aww, Little Caesar and Little Kara were in love.
Caesar: They were happy times.
Caesar: And Setti. I remember our brother too.
This a rather touching scene, in all honestly, because it’s between Caesar and Kara, the only two likable non-Yulie main characters we have, but I will admit, the way Caesar is holding his hand it looks like all you need to do is move it back and forth a little and it looks like he’s doing the jerk-off gesture.
Kara slowly sits up. Is she going to come back to the good side after all this?
Are we going to be a family again?
Caesar: Kara, what Setti is trying to do isn’t right.…Uuuhh, I’m pretty sure Setti is a) dead now, and b) really didn’t want any of this shit either. Take your complaints up with the guy wearing the Setti suit, aka Grazel.
Leonard: It’s true. Our brother has been blinded.This line just comes right the fuck out of nowhere to the point where I honestly thought Leonard had been brainwashed for a moment because it’s nowhere in his character to acknowledge any of the other Sinca kids as family to the extent that Kara and Grazel do. What’s more, this is the first and last time he does it. AND the first and last time he has any sympathy or empathy for Grazel’s position in this whole insane plot. After this he goes right back to
KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!
Leonard: The Knights have blinded him.
Kara: Caesar… Leonard… Yulie: InuYasha. Orren: Kagome.
Caesar: We can help him. Together we can bring him back to his senses.Or just continue to kick the shit out of him, whatever one’s easier for Akihiro Hino to write.
Caesar: You know we can.
Kara: (…Yeeeeah, Setti’s a goner then). Kara: Yes.
Shapur: Lady Kara?
Shapur: Will you betray our Lord?
Kara: Ha ha ha…
Kara: A ha ha hah…
Kara: It’s over, Shapur. I cannot follow your Lord any longer.
Uuuuuum... Kara? Honey? You really think that’s such a good idea? Ya know, turning your back on a guy with a history of a) fanatical devotion to Grazel’s cause, and b) stabbing people in the back when they fuck him over in any way?
Shapur: Rrrrr!
Oh, sure NOW you do something…
Kara: AAAAAAAGH!!
Way to go, Kara. This is what you get for putting your trust in a guy with a history of backstabbing people not to stab you in the back after telling him in EXACT WORDS that you’re defecting.
This is usually a level of stupid reserved for Leonard. But I guess because the game’s final minutes are ticking away on us, they need to up the ante a little by going all Scorpion and the Frog on us.
You only have yourself to blame for this one, Kara... It’s in his nature.
Leonard: Wha?!
Caesar: KARA!!!
Caesar bolts for them, but it’s going to take a while for him to cross the ten foot gap between them, however, because Plot is about to happen.
Shapur: Betrayal cannot be forgiven. How can you of all people not understand what our master is trying to do?
Shapur: You pitiful fool.
He grabs hold of the Black Knight’s Ark.
Shapur: O Dinivas, deliverer of dark and dread, ruler of the ancient shadows…
Kara: Shapur… Shapur: Grant me your power… Kara: You…
Shapur: Your power… 
Shapur: I think… It shall be mine now.
And now we get to see what happens when you try to claim mastery over an Incorruptus’s Ark while the previous Pactmaker is still alive.
Shapur: VERTO!
So yeah, I’m guessing this is not exactly Standard Operating Procedure in the Incorruptus Operator’s Manual.
Way to go, Patchy, you just voided the warranty on this thing by trying to softmod it!
Caesar gets launched skyward by the wave of energy from what’s probably the first dual Pactmaker Incorruptus transformation in history…
Unless Madoras got up to some weird experimental shit in the heyday of the Dogma Wars. Because like we pointed out earlier, Dogma Era Yshrenia was one step removed from Venture Industries.
Caesar: KARA!!!Well this doesn't look good. Let's see what becomes of poor Kara and nasty Shapur...